“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.” - Saint Bernard of Clairvaux

Home exercise programs do not work (at home). The amount of disciple required to actually do some turbo Tae-bo jazzer rock ab cruncher workout far surpasses the discipline of the person buying the workout “system” (why is everything a “system” now?). We buy home exercise programs because we saw an infomercial that convicted us of our lack of discipline. We mustered enough motivation to buy the program to cleanse us from our guilt and frustration of being undisciplined to begin with. It is the perfect “do nothing” marketing exercise and it makes millions.

I have yet to ever see a P90x infomercial. I knew that if I would ever be successful at any exercise program, I’d need to do the program at the gym. That is exactly what I did. After receiving the DVD’s, I ripped them all to MP4 using the most awesome application for such a task, Handbrake. I then imported the DVDs into iTunes and onto my iPod.

Once the content was on my iPod (for my own personal use), I read through the very informative guide in an hour or so. I then gave myself 3 days to watch the first 3 videos a few times and get familiar with the type of workouts I would be doing. Once I had a decent idea, I then set a goal to start the entire workout program on the next Monday morning. The workout requires 1.5 hours (plus or minus a few minutes to and from the gym) and at least 5 days a week (6 if you do Yoga). Pick a time that is going to work. Workout in the morning if you are a morning person. Do not try to take on P90x in the AM if you hit the snooze 10 times. Conversely, never do something in the evening if you have kids, sports, dinner, and general chaos to attend to. If you are married, cut a deal on kid and dinner chores with your spouse to allow for the time. You have to pick a time that is going to work.

I have a somewhat more flexible schedule than others and work from 9:30 – 6:30 every day from my house. Since Aleta is a stay at home mom, she does just about all kid duties in the morning. I take the kids from 6:30 PM and on during what Aleta calls “the witching hours”. I chose 7:30 – 9 AM every day as my workout, including the 5 minute ride to and from the local YMCA. I made sure to carb load with my normal protein shake at least 1 hour before the workout. You will need to eat AT LEAST 400 calories before these workouts or you will indeed run out of gas. Oatmeal, Clif Bars, and grape juice (no acid) make great sources of carbs for this kind of workout and these are normally what I eat beforehand.

Do not think for a second that you are too old or too out of shape or too injured to do this workout. I have a tear somewhere in my shoulder and I have learned to work around it, not stressing it or making it sore. I have met many people in the P90x forums in their 50′s and 60′s in great shape. I have also met people who ran out of breath on the warm-up exercises the first week and made it through P90x start to finish. There is a way to do this workout with out injuring yourself or dying in the first 10 minutes.

Just be sure to NEVER do it at your house…

I always find it funny how workout infomercials show the before and after pictures of people who have been through their program. At the bottom of those shots, there is always an asterisk that says “Results Not Typical”. That is because most of the people in those pictures were paid by the infomercial company, went on some lemongrass and water diet, and had some super-fit trainer named Holden or something to help them through the program. In addition, everyone sticks out their white pot bellies, unstylish mullet hair dos, and horribly out of style shorts for those “before” shots. The after always includes shaved excess hair, tans, makeup, and the latest Nike apparel.

Having “worked out” consistently for 15 years, I was at a standstill this winter. At 35, it had become so boring to me. In addition, my shoulder has some weird tear that doctors can’t seem to diagnose. This knocked me out of all the typical guy weight training of “3 sets of chest, shoulders and tri’s” and all the other “body builder” stuff we do. It was awesome for our twenties when we were trying to score chicks. All we do is tear connective tissue at gym in our 30′s, trying to pick up our wives.

A coworker told me about P90x. I had never heard of it before (unlike most of America). I don’t have cable and don’t watch infomercials, especially workout ones AND especially ones from that advertise “home” programs. Please, who actually works out by themself in their living room after sleeping in and with booger finger kids running around? I went to the website and bought the DVDs on my friend’s recommendation. I ignored all the before and after pictures as those are silly, like mullets.

Below are my “Before and After” pictures. I never thought I’d EVER take these pictures. It seems both vain and silly to do this. However, the P90x online community is surprisingly supportive of each other. Since I purchased a licensed and legal copy (yes, think about that for a second), I was given access to a personal online trainer. She pushed me to do the pictures and I did. So, here they are:

I will publish a few articles on how to get typical results from P90x for someone in their 30′s with kids and a busy life. It is all doable.

Yes, I did shave my chest. As for the tan, I mowed the grass all summer without a shirt. It is a redneck tan. This had more to do with the fact that I was sick of my wife and in-laws making fun of my white pasty body.

To be continued…