Both my boys were old enough to enjoy the foot of snow dumped on us this week. They were also old enough to NOT ENJOY getting plugged in the face with a snowball for the first time. Nothing soothes a red and snotty face like a warm bowl of my epic lime white bean vegan chili.

This is a 30 minute vegan chili/soup that is hearty and healthy that is worthy…

• 4 cans of assorted white beans
• 1 can of diced jalapeños (like the ones that are almost mush)
• 3 diced carrots
• 1 diced large onion
• 3 diced stalks of celery
• 2 diced medium potatoes
• 8 cups of vegetable broth
• 1 1/2 tsp of cumin
• 1 1/2 tsp of garlic powder
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
• 2 limes
• 2 tbsp of olive oil

Heat the oil in a big soup pot. Add the carrots, celery, onions, and potatoes and cook them on high for 5 minutes. Add the beans, cumin, garlic powder, and vegetable stock. Bring it to a boil and let it simmer uncovered for 20 minutes. Remove the soup from the heat and throw in the parsley and cilantro. Squeeze at least the juice of one lime into the soup. Taste it. If you want it more tart, add another lime and some additional cilantro. Salt and pepper to taste.

This is a hearty man meal after shovelling a driveway or a soother for a kid who just took his first snowball in the chin.

I wretched my posterior labrum 3 years ago exercising with free weights. This in and of itself is enough for me to implore fellow dads to stop slinging weights like we used to in our 20′s. This causes very painful bicep tendinitis in my left shoulder. My most recent bout with it kept me off of any kind of upper body workout for 3 weeks. This is agonizing as there are just so many legs and core exercises a dude can do before having to buy a pair of Old Navy Yoga Butt Pants.

My doctor gave me a shot of cortisone in the shoulder joint. It was so delightful that my left leg started kicking up and down during the procedure. I asked him if if the needle was splitting every soft tissue in the joint itself during the insertion. Once the feeling of being hit in the shoulder with a sledgehammer wore off after a couple of days, I noticed moderate relief from the pain, but nothing to make me want to drop and give you 30.

So, I did a simple superfood trick instead. Blueberries and spinach are loaded with all kinds of good stuff with scientific names for anti-inflammitories. As always, Google it for yourself. I grabbed a handful of fresh baby spinach, a handful of frozen blueberries, a banana, and a cup of water and threw it in a blender. I then proceeded to slam it down. The whole process took 10 minutes and I just got 4 servings of fruits and vegetables.

By the 3rd day of drinking this stupidly simple superfood shake, I noticed a SIGNIFICANT difference in my shoulder. The tendinitis was completely gone. It was gone so much to the point that I have been able to do light upper body exercises without any issue (taking it slow).

Before I lead you to believe this was a food miracle, let’s get a few things straight. I do have steroids floating in my shoulder and I have rested it for a few weeks. So, there is not any science that proves one thing over another. I would suggest that a combination of everything with the superfood shake as the final “oomph” got me over this hump. At the very least, this is a 10 minute exercise to give you a heaping dose of superfood goodness.

Can I borrow your yoga butt pants?

Aleta and I attended a “raw food” workshop at the local (and only) Whole Foods Market. As usual, I was the only dude there that was not wearing a small T-shirt and horn-rimmed glasses, was clean shaven, and did not have product in my hair that made me look an alt-rocker (you know, that dry pomade stuff). I was thinking about carrying my Glock 19 and wearing cammo (actually, I don’t have cammo and don’t have a gun or a concealed carry permit…yet).

Eating 100% raw is pretty hard core. It makes us vegans look like health heathens. However, incorporating some decent raw foods and meals into any kind of diet can be extremely helpful. The lady doing the cooking demonstration had an amazing story of health restoration and weight loss after having chronic illness for 20 years. There are plenty of testimonies like this if you google hard enough.

She whipped up some eg’gless e’gg salad in one of her demos. I was a total skeptic until she passed out samples. Once the demo was over, I ran over to the store and bought all the ingedients. I have been eating it every day for lunch this week.

Ingredients:

• 1 medium lemon squeezed (about 1/4 to 1/2 cup)
• 3/4 cup raw macadamia nuts (soaked for 4 hours)
• 3/4 cup raw cashews (soaked for 4 hours)
• 1/4 cup diced celery
• 1/4 cup diced peppers
• 1/4 cup relish or diced pickles
• 2 diced scallions
• 1 tsp of agave nectar (or sugar)
• 3/4 tsp of tumeric (key ingredient)
• 1 chopped garlic clove (or tsp of powder)
• Salt to taste
• Water for consistency

Blend everything but the vegetables in a food processor for 5 minutes. The mixture should be very smooth and yellow by the time you are done. Add water a 1/4 cup at a time until you get your desired consistency (like how thick or thin do YOU want it). Pour the mixture into a bowl and add the veggies and mix it.

You can eat it right there or chill it for a few hours. It does get better with age. From that point on, you can basically use it on whatever you want. You can make sandwiches, celery boats, or add it to a salad. The stuff is very filling and very good for you. You are getting a ton of protein and good fats and zero cholesterol.

And you don’t have to wear horn rimmed glasses to enjoy it…

Quinoa is a whole grain and a whole protein. It is packed with vitamins, fiber, and protein. You can substitute it out of any rice dish and get much more healthier and balanced food with the same taste. Here is a simple recipe that I make and then eat for lunch for the next few days. You can buy this grain at Whole Foods, Trader Joes, or any other healthy food store.

• 1 cup quinoa
• 2 cans of black beans
• 6 cloves of minced garlic
• 1 large onion
• 6 cups of vegetable stock
• 1 handful of freshly chopped parsley
• 2 tbsp of oil

Rinse the quinoa (read the package, it should tell you to do this). Heat the oil in a medium pot. Get it smokin’ hot. Add the minced garlic and onions. It should sizzle. Cook both for about 1 minute. Add everything else, but the parsley. Bring to a boil and simmer for 20 minutes. Remove from heat, throw in the parsley, stir and serve (blow on ths oup first or burn your mouth).

Makes 4 serverings.

Yes, I did go there. I could not help myself. I was not going to stop until I had a man worthy vegan pizza. This is the recipe to pull out if you are getting the vegan blues.

Ingredients:

• 1 pizza shell (you can wimp out and buy one or make your own, see below)
• 1 can of plain tomato sauce
• 1/2 package vegan protein crumbles (you can cheat and use Morningstar if required)
• 1/2 package vegan sausage crumbles (same as above)
• 1 tsb liquid smoke
• 3 slices vegan cheese
• 2 tbsp soy milk
• 1 package vegan/soy shredded cheese
• 1 jar of sliced jalapeno peppers
• 4 garlic cloves minced
• 1 medium onion
• 1/2 cup water

To make the “meet” topping (yes, I am intentionally spelling it that way):

Heat two tablespoons of oil and get it HOT. Add the onions and garlic. Cook for 1 minute until brown. Add the protein and saus’ge crumbles. Cook the mixture on high heat for 2 minutes. Add the water and liquid smoke (add more smoke if desired for more man taste). Reduce heat to medium. Dice the slices of vegan cheese and place them in a microwave safe bowl with the soy milk. Heat for 45 seconds. Pull the bowl out of the microwave and mix with a fork until you have a sauce. Add the sauce to the “meet” mixture. Cook the mixture for a few more minutes at low heat until most of the moisture is gone. Remove the mixture from the heat.

Place your pizza shell on a pan. Coat it with the plain tomato sauce. Liberally (and I mean liberal) sprinkle oregano, onion powder, garlic powder, and cracked pepper on the tomato sauce. Spread the “meet” mixture over the pizza. Spread the vegan mozarella over the pizza.

Place the pizza in the oven and bake at 425. If this is a prefab pizza shell, you need to bake it for 8 – 10 minutes until golden brown. Pull the pizza out of the oven and add the peppers. Place back in the oven for 1 minute to get the peppers hot. Remove from the oven and cool on a rack for 10 minutes.

If you are using a real pizza dough shell, then bake it for 12 – 15 minutes.

Slice the pizza up, grab a beer (if you are of age), and scoff at the people who say eating vegan is eating salad.

Homemade Pizza Shell

• 2 3/4 cups bread flour
• 1 tbsp yeast
• 1 1/2 cups warm water
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1/8 tsp citric acid (vitamin C)

Put the sugar and yeast in a small cup. Add 1 cup of really hot to the touch water. Stir the mixture and let it sit for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, it will be frothy and foamy like a head on a Guinness.

Mix all the other ingredients in a bowl. Pour the water in the bottom of your Kitchen Aid mixer with dough hook (best $100 kitchen investment). Turn the mixer on low and gradually add the dry ingredients. Pour the remaining 1/2 cup of water in a shot at a time until all ingredients are mixed. The dough should incorporate all ingredients and not stick to the bottom of the bowl. Add some flour or water to adjust until you reach this. The dough should spin 6 minutes start to finish. Pull the dough off the hook. Spray the bottom of the mixing bowl with PAM. Throw the dough back in the bowl, cover it with plastic wrap, and let it rise for 30 minutes. As always, you can help speed this process by putting the bowl on a warm stove-top by the oven vents. I preheat my oven to 200 degrees just to let the heat warm the stove.

After 30 minutes, roll the dough out onto a pizza pan and add your toppings.

Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I am completely off. Tonight was an “on” night. Marsala and shallots are a powerful combination and produce savory and sweet in the same bite. If you have been reading this blog passively looking for a vegan recipe  to try, I would wager the farm on this one. And no cholesterol to boot!

Chick’n Marsala Ingredients

• 1 Bag of Soy Delight Nuggets (or any faux chick’n product)
• 4 tbsp flour
• 4 tbsp canola oil
• 1 medium shallot diced
• 1/2 red onion sliced very thin (like paper thin)
• 1/2 cup Marsala wine
• 1 cup vegetable broth
• 1 1/2 tbsp soy sauce
• 2 tbsp nutritional yeast (adds lots of  meat and cheese flavor…without the meat and cheese)
• 1 tbsp cornstarch
• 2 tbsp water
• 4 tbsp Earth Balance margarine
• 1/4 cup chopped parsley

Spread the flour out on a plate. Dredge the soy nuggets in the flour (this means “coat them in flour”). Heat the canola oil in a large saute pan. Make sure it is HOT. Place the nuggets in the pan. They should sizzle. Cook them 2 – 3 minutes on a side until they are nice and brown. Remove from heat. Clean the saute pan out completely. Place the pan back on the stove and add two tbsp of margarine. Let it get super hot (but don’t burn it). Add the diced shallots and onions. Cook them for 1 minute. Add the marsala wine. Reduce the heat to medium and let the sauce reduce to about half. Add the vegetable stock, remaining margarine,  and soy sauce. Let it simmer for 5 minutes. Mix the cornstarch and water in a separate bowl. Whisk the mixture into the marsala sauce gradually until the sauce thickens. Remove from heat. Add the parsley and nutritional yeast. Place the soy nuggets back into the pan and coat them in the sauce. Let the nuggets warm for a couple minutes and serve with the rice.

Sherry Rice Pilaf

• 1 cup of long grain rice
• 1 medium shallot diced
• 1 1/2 cup of vegetable stock
• 1/2 sherry wine
• 4 tbsp margarine

Heat the margarine in a medium sauce pan. Add the shallots and rice. Saute them on high heat for 3 minutes. Add all the other ingredients and bring the rice to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cover. Cook for 15 – 20 minutes.

You can plate both of these with some steamed broccoli or asparagus. This will make you a believer.

I am half Italian and born in New Jersey. Although, I somehow picked up a southern twang over the years (maybe because I have lived in the south for 10 years), I still have loyalty to New Jersey and Bruce Springsteen (gotta be from Jersey to get that one).

A very simple Italian/northeastern dish is to simply sautee up a bunch of peppers, saus’ge, onions, and some mushrooms. I did this yesterday for lunch and it was a delightful and filling meal without the associated calories and heart crushing saturated fat.

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp grape seed oil (much better for cooking – use canola if you don’t have this)
• 1 package Tofurky Italian Saus’ge
• 1 medium onion
• 1 green pepper
• 1 handful of sliced mushrooms
• 2 tbsp of Frank’s RedHot

Heat the oil in a large skillet and get it really hot. Slice the saus’ge into decent bite sized slices. Julienne cut your onions and peppers. Add all the ingredients to the skillet. It should really sizzle. Stir constantly for 5 to 7 minutes. You will see the onions start to get slightly brown and caramelize. Remove from heat, and add the Red Hot. Stir until it is mixed.

Pour the big ‘ole pile into a bowl and turn on some Bruce Springsteen to listen to while you eat.

This is so simple, so good, and more healthy than the alternative.

Prep time 45 minutes. Serves 4 – 6.

• 1/2 cup Earth Balance margarine
• 1 cup of organic sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 cups flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 3 mashed bananas (to a paste)
• 2 Ener-G egg replacements
• 1/2 cup nuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the sugar and margarine. In a separate bowl, sift the flour, salt, and baking soda. Blend with the wet mixture. Add the bananas, Ener-G, and nuts. Stir until mixed. Spoon into a mini-muffin sheet (like Pampered Chef’s) and bake for 15 – 17 minutes. Allow to cool for 5 and them pop ‘em with some coffee or hot chocolate.

More spicy. More savory. More soup and less chili. All the flavor. Less the fat. Less the bloat. Less the burps. Come try part deux. Serves 4 – 6. Prep time 30 minutes.

Ingredients:

• 8 cups vegetable stock (use “Better than Bullion No Chick’n” Base)
• 2 medium diced yukon gold potatoes (they are just good for cookin’)
• 1 medium diced onion
• 4 massive minced garlic cloves
• 1 can tomato sauce
• 1 can pinto beans
• 1 can “Rotel” diced tomatoes and chili peppers
• 5 tsp chili powder
• 2 tsp cumin
• 7 diced de-nuked habanero peppers (leave this off if you are a sissy)
• 1 package of Trader Joes vegan soy chorizo
• 2 tbsp of cooking oil

Heat the oil in a stock pot. Add the potatoes, onions, and garlic. It should sizzle. Cook at high heat for 5 minutes stirring frequently (some browning is not bad). Add everything else except the vegan chorizo. Bring the pot of soup to a boil. Simmer 10 minutes. Add the vegan chorizo. Simmer an additional 5 minutes. Let the soup cool for 5 minutes before tasting. As my late mother-in-law used to say, “Let it get aquatinted”. It will take a couple minutes for the heat to come out. Wait and then add more seasoning if required. Enjoy with some tamales and bring a napkin to wipe your forehead (unless you are a sissy and ditched the habaneros…if this is the case, serve the soup on a lovely laced doily).

Just when you think it is vegan impossible. I am sipping on a bowl of this right now. I just made it. All the texture and flavor without all the calories and 30 chemical ingredients on the back of the soup can. Take a look at a classic Campbell’s Cream of Anything soup. The first ingredient ain’t cream (I have always wanted to spread some polysorbate 60 on a cracker with some fresh basil).

Feeds: 4 – 6
Total Prep Time: 40 Minutes

Dice up:

• 1 medium onion
• 2 carrots
• 2 stalks of celery
• 3 medium yukon gold potatoes (or whadevah’ potato you have)

Have on the side and ready:

• 1 can of green beans (yeah, I am sure there are food additives in this)
• 8 cups of water
• 6 – 8 tsp of vegetable bullion (or 8 cups of vegetable stock)
• 2 handfuls of fresh baby spinach
• 1 bag of non-meat chick’n pieces (like Morningstar)
• 2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley
• 1/2 tsp fresh chopped rosemary
• 1 cup of cashew cre’m (uhhh, what?)

Yes, cashew cre’m. There is your cre’m substitute (you wish I would tell you why I use ” ‘ ” in those words). It is made up of raw cashews and water (no polysorbate 60?). Raw cashews are soft, absorb water, and can be blended into a paste with the consistency of heavy cream and a slight sweet taste. Take a cup of raw cashews and soak them in water for at least 30 minutes (2 hours preferred). Pour them in a food processor with enough water to cover 1/4 inch above the nuts. Grind em’ for like 3 minutes. they will eventually turn into a white vegan cre’m.

While still contemplating this, pour 4 tbsp of oil into a soup pot and get it HOT. Dump in all your diced vegetables. Cook them on medium heat for 5 minutes. Add the 8 cups of water, bullion, green beans,  herbs and bring to a boil. Reduce to a medium boil for 10 minutes. At 10 minutes, add the chick’n and cre’m. Reduce the heat down to simmer and stir like crazy. Cook 5 more minutes at a really low temp. Add more herbs, salt, and pepper to taste. Remove soup from heat and throw in the baby spinach. Serve immediatey if you want to burn every part of your mouth. Otherwise, let it cool.

Can you taste the polysorbate 60? That’s what I thought.