Born Again Vegan

Yes, I did go there. I could not help myself. I was not going to stop until I had a man worthy vegan pizza. This is the recipe to pull out if you are getting the vegan blues.

Ingredients:

• 1 pizza shell (you can wimp out and buy one or make your own, see below)
• 1 can of plain tomato sauce
• 1/2 package vegan protein crumbles (you can cheat and use Morningstar if required)
• 1/2 package vegan sausage crumbles (same as above)
• 1 tsb liquid smoke
• 3 slices vegan cheese
• 2 tbsp soy milk
• 1 package vegan/soy shredded cheese
• 1 jar of sliced jalapeno peppers
• 4 garlic cloves minced
• 1 medium onion
• 1/2 cup water

To make the “meet” topping (yes, I am intentionally spelling it that way):

Heat two tablespoons of oil and get it HOT. Add the onions and garlic. Cook for 1 minute until brown. Add the protein and saus’ge crumbles. Cook the mixture on high heat for 2 minutes. Add the water and liquid smoke (add more smoke if desired for more man taste). Reduce heat to medium. Dice the slices of vegan cheese and place them in a microwave safe bowl with the soy milk. Heat for 45 seconds. Pull the bowl out of the microwave and mix with a fork until you have a sauce. Add the sauce to the “meet” mixture. Cook the mixture for a few more minutes at low heat until most of the moisture is gone. Remove the mixture from the heat.

Place your pizza shell on a pan. Coat it with the plain tomato sauce. Liberally (and I mean liberal) sprinkle oregano, onion powder, garlic powder, and cracked pepper on the tomato sauce. Spread the “meet” mixture over the pizza. Spread the vegan mozarella over the pizza.

Place the pizza in the oven and bake at 425. If this is a prefab pizza shell, you need to bake it for 8 – 10 minutes until golden brown. Pull the pizza out of the oven and add the peppers. Place back in the oven for 1 minute to get the peppers hot. Remove from the oven and cool on a rack for 10 minutes.

If you are using a real pizza dough shell, then bake it for 12 – 15 minutes.

Slice the pizza up, grab a beer (if you are of age), and scoff at the people who say eating vegan is eating salad.

Homemade Pizza Shell

• 2 3/4 cups bread flour
• 1 tbsp yeast
• 1 1/2 cups warm water
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1/8 tsp citric acid (vitamin C)

Put the sugar and yeast in a small cup. Add 1 cup of really hot to the touch water. Stir the mixture and let it sit for 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, it will be frothy and foamy like a head on a Guinness.

Mix all the other ingredients in a bowl. Pour the water in the bottom of your Kitchen Aid mixer with dough hook (best $100 kitchen investment). Turn the mixer on low and gradually add the dry ingredients. Pour the remaining 1/2 cup of water in a shot at a time until all ingredients are mixed. The dough should incorporate all ingredients and not stick to the bottom of the bowl. Add some flour or water to adjust until you reach this. The dough should spin 6 minutes start to finish. Pull the dough off the hook. Spray the bottom of the mixing bowl with PAM. Throw the dough back in the bowl, cover it with plastic wrap, and let it rise for 30 minutes. As always, you can help speed this process by putting the bowl on a warm stove-top by the oven vents. I preheat my oven to 200 degrees just to let the heat warm the stove.

After 30 minutes, roll the dough out onto a pizza pan and add your toppings.

Sometimes I get it right and sometimes I am completely off. Tonight was an “on” night. Marsala and shallots are a powerful combination and produce savory and sweet in the same bite. If you have been reading this blog passively looking for a vegan recipe  to try, I would wager the farm on this one. And no cholesterol to boot!

Chick’n Marsala Ingredients

• 1 Bag of Soy Delight Nuggets (or any faux chick’n product)
• 4 tbsp flour
• 4 tbsp canola oil
• 1 medium shallot diced
• 1/2 red onion sliced very thin (like paper thin)
• 1/2 cup Marsala wine
• 1 cup vegetable broth
• 1 1/2 tbsp soy sauce
• 2 tbsp nutritional yeast (adds lots of  meat and cheese flavor…without the meat and cheese)
• 1 tbsp cornstarch
• 2 tbsp water
• 4 tbsp Earth Balance margarine
• 1/4 cup chopped parsley

Spread the flour out on a plate. Dredge the soy nuggets in the flour (this means “coat them in flour”). Heat the canola oil in a large saute pan. Make sure it is HOT. Place the nuggets in the pan. They should sizzle. Cook them 2 – 3 minutes on a side until they are nice and brown. Remove from heat. Clean the saute pan out completely. Place the pan back on the stove and add two tbsp of margarine. Let it get super hot (but don’t burn it). Add the diced shallots and onions. Cook them for 1 minute. Add the marsala wine. Reduce the heat to medium and let the sauce reduce to about half. Add the vegetable stock, remaining margarine,  and soy sauce. Let it simmer for 5 minutes. Mix the cornstarch and water in a separate bowl. Whisk the mixture into the marsala sauce gradually until the sauce thickens. Remove from heat. Add the parsley and nutritional yeast. Place the soy nuggets back into the pan and coat them in the sauce. Let the nuggets warm for a couple minutes and serve with the rice.

Sherry Rice Pilaf

• 1 cup of long grain rice
• 1 medium shallot diced
• 1 1/2 cup of vegetable stock
• 1/2 sherry wine
• 4 tbsp margarine

Heat the margarine in a medium sauce pan. Add the shallots and rice. Saute them on high heat for 3 minutes. Add all the other ingredients and bring the rice to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and cover. Cook for 15 – 20 minutes.

You can plate both of these with some steamed broccoli or asparagus. This will make you a believer.

“Chin down.”

This is a phrase Aleta and I say to each other when someone is taking a picture of us. This means “make sure our fat sacks under our chins don’t show so it looks like we have a neck.” For those of us who gain weight in our cheekbones and neck, this is a perpetual challenge. Especially for guys like me who have big jawbones.

Chin down is the most critical for our annual Christmas picture inserted into those clever letters we send out. This year’s picture in our letter warranted lots of “Wow, you guys look healthy/good/young/thin.” We did not realize the difference all that much, but others did.

With that said, I’ll let the following pictures be proof of the benefits of our 6 month trek eating vegan. The first picture is from Christmas 2009 after 6 months of eating vegan. The second picture is before vegan, our meat eating days.

2009 Born Again Vegan

2008 Meat Eating Glory Days

No tricks or gimmicks or diet fads. We changed our diet to vegan and continued at our same activity and exercise levels like we always have.

We’re not so bent on chin down anymore.

I am half Italian and born in New Jersey. Although, I somehow picked up a southern twang over the years (maybe because I have lived in the south for 10 years), I still have loyalty to New Jersey and Bruce Springsteen (gotta be from Jersey to get that one).

A very simple Italian/northeastern dish is to simply sautee up a bunch of peppers, saus’ge, onions, and some mushrooms. I did this yesterday for lunch and it was a delightful and filling meal without the associated calories and heart crushing saturated fat.

Ingredients:

• 2 tbsp grape seed oil (much better for cooking – use canola if you don’t have this)
• 1 package Tofurky Italian Saus’ge
• 1 medium onion
• 1 green pepper
• 1 handful of sliced mushrooms
• 2 tbsp of Frank’s RedHot

Heat the oil in a large skillet and get it really hot. Slice the saus’ge into decent bite sized slices. Julienne cut your onions and peppers. Add all the ingredients to the skillet. It should really sizzle. Stir constantly for 5 to 7 minutes. You will see the onions start to get slightly brown and caramelize. Remove from heat, and add the Red Hot. Stir until it is mixed.

Pour the big ‘ole pile into a bowl and turn on some Bruce Springsteen to listen to while you eat.

Our American diet lacks fiber. Estimates are that we consume half the daily allowance of fiber required to maintain good digestive systems [google it]. There are direct medical problems that result from lack of fiber and also indirect. The most common are weight gain, high cholesterol, and all kinds of issues with your digestive system.

A friend of mine turned me onto psyllium husk a couple years ago. Psyllium is a native plant of Pakistan and India. It is much higher in fiber than oats or bran and is water soluble: to the tune of absorbing up to 10 times its original size. What does it mean for you? It provides soluble fiber that binds to triglycerides in your blood, helping you reduce your cholesterol. It also contains insoluble fiber which passes right through you. The great thing about the latter is that it literally will sweep through your entire digestive system and take anything it finds with it. Many cleansing products use psyllium as their base.

So, if you want a very simple way to massively boost fiber, go to any health foods store and get a container of it. Mix 2 teaspoons with a large glass of juice, follow up with another glass of water,  and start your morning off with it. The first day or so may be utterly shocking after a couple #2’s. Just prepare yourself. You will not believe you could make something that big. The good news is that you will start to feel better, keep stuff flowing, and not feel so bad about not eating that apple in the morning.

This is so simple, so good, and more healthy than the alternative.

Prep time 45 minutes. Serves 4 – 6.

• 1/2 cup Earth Balance margarine
• 1 cup of organic sugar
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 cups flour
• 1 tsp baking soda
• 3 mashed bananas (to a paste)
• 2 Ener-G egg replacements
• 1/2 cup nuts

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Cream the sugar and margarine. In a separate bowl, sift the flour, salt, and baking soda. Blend with the wet mixture. Add the bananas, Ener-G, and nuts. Stir until mixed. Spoon into a mini-muffin sheet (like Pampered Chef’s) and bake for 15 – 17 minutes. Allow to cool for 5 and them pop ‘em with some coffee or hot chocolate.

More spicy. More savory. More soup and less chili. All the flavor. Less the fat. Less the bloat. Less the burps. Come try part deux. Serves 4 – 6. Prep time 30 minutes.

Ingredients:

• 8 cups vegetable stock (use “Better than Bullion No Chick’n” Base)
• 2 medium diced yukon gold potatoes (they are just good for cookin’)
• 1 medium diced onion
• 4 massive minced garlic cloves
• 1 can tomato sauce
• 1 can pinto beans
• 1 can “Rotel” diced tomatoes and chili peppers
• 5 tsp chili powder
• 2 tsp cumin
• 7 diced de-nuked habanero peppers (leave this off if you are a sissy)
• 1 package of Trader Joes vegan soy chorizo
• 2 tbsp of cooking oil

Heat the oil in a stock pot. Add the potatoes, onions, and garlic. It should sizzle. Cook at high heat for 5 minutes stirring frequently (some browning is not bad). Add everything else except the vegan chorizo. Bring the pot of soup to a boil. Simmer 10 minutes. Add the vegan chorizo. Simmer an additional 5 minutes. Let the soup cool for 5 minutes before tasting. As my late mother-in-law used to say, “Let it get aquatinted”. It will take a couple minutes for the heat to come out. Wait and then add more seasoning if required. Enjoy with some tamales and bring a napkin to wipe your forehead (unless you are a sissy and ditched the habaneros…if this is the case, serve the soup on a lovely laced doily).

Just when you think it is vegan impossible. I am sipping on a bowl of this right now. I just made it. All the texture and flavor without all the calories and 30 chemical ingredients on the back of the soup can. Take a look at a classic Campbell’s Cream of Anything soup. The first ingredient ain’t cream (I have always wanted to spread some polysorbate 60 on a cracker with some fresh basil).

Feeds: 4 – 6
Total Prep Time: 40 Minutes

Dice up:

• 1 medium onion
• 2 carrots
• 2 stalks of celery
• 3 medium yukon gold potatoes (or whadevah’ potato you have)

Have on the side and ready:

• 1 can of green beans (yeah, I am sure there are food additives in this)
• 8 cups of water
• 6 – 8 tsp of vegetable bullion (or 8 cups of vegetable stock)
• 2 handfuls of fresh baby spinach
• 1 bag of non-meat chick’n pieces (like Morningstar)
• 2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley
• 1/2 tsp fresh chopped rosemary
• 1 cup of cashew cre’m (uhhh, what?)

Yes, cashew cre’m. There is your cre’m substitute (you wish I would tell you why I use ” ‘ ” in those words). It is made up of raw cashews and water (no polysorbate 60?). Raw cashews are soft, absorb water, and can be blended into a paste with the consistency of heavy cream and a slight sweet taste. Take a cup of raw cashews and soak them in water for at least 30 minutes (2 hours preferred). Pour them in a food processor with enough water to cover 1/4 inch above the nuts. Grind em’ for like 3 minutes. they will eventually turn into a white vegan cre’m.

While still contemplating this, pour 4 tbsp of oil into a soup pot and get it HOT. Dump in all your diced vegetables. Cook them on medium heat for 5 minutes. Add the 8 cups of water, bullion, green beans,  herbs and bring to a boil. Reduce to a medium boil for 10 minutes. At 10 minutes, add the chick’n and cre’m. Reduce the heat down to simmer and stir like crazy. Cook 5 more minutes at a really low temp. Add more herbs, salt, and pepper to taste. Remove soup from heat and throw in the baby spinach. Serve immediatey if you want to burn every part of your mouth. Otherwise, let it cool.

Can you taste the polysorbate 60? That’s what I thought.

Sticky gooey “Cinnabon-like” rolls for the vegan? Yes, you betcha. Any recipe can be converted to  vegan one. While these are not the bastion of good health, they are still better for you than the regular ones. Vegan cooking always makes gains with lower saturated fat and no cholesterol. Very important for heart health as you approach 40 (or 45). Anyway, these are from scratch and take 2 hours to make (don’t get all discouraged, oh Microwave Generation).

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 tsp active dry yeast
• 1 tsp sugar
• 1 cup warm water
• 4 cups flour
• 1/8 tsp vitamin C powder (not needed but will REALLY help your dough rise)
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup melted Earth Balance margarine
• 1/4 cup canola oil
• 1 cup chopped pecans
• 1 cup raisins
• 1/2 cup melted margarine for brushing on dough
• 1/4 cup melted margarine for topping
• lots of cinnamon sugar mix
• 1/2 cup soy milk
• 2 – 4 cups of powdered sugar
• 1/4 tsp vanilla

As with all breads, combine the water, yeast and sugar. Set aside and let rise for 5 minutes. It should be as thick as a head of Guinness. Pour the mixture into a mixing bowl (hopefully a KitchenAid with a dough hook) with the margarine and oil. Gradually add the flour, salt, and vitamin C. Mix for 5 minutes with a machine dough hook or 10 minutes by hand. The dough should be very soft and should stick to your fingers, but not leave any residue. Cover the dough and let it rise for 30 – 60 minutes or doubled in bulk.

Get your oven pre-heated to 425 degrees.

After the dough has risen, plop it on a floured surface. Cut it in half. Put 1 half back in the bowl. Roll the other into a rectangle at least 12 inches high and 18 inches long. The dough should be rolled to almost a 1/4 inch in thickness. With a brush, liberally apply melted margarine to the rectangle piece of dough. Cover the dough with a healthy sprinkling of the cinnamon sugar mixture. Next, spread the nuts and raisins. it is up to you how much you want in the rolls. I put about a handful of each. Carefully roll the dough lengthwise like Clark Gable would roll a cigarette (not like I have EVER seen any of his movies start to finish).  You should have a nice thick roll.

Grease a 9×13 baking pan. Slice 2 inch pieces with a serrated knife. Take each piece and gently place it in the pan face up. Push the roll down to about half it’s height. Continue this process. You should get 6 – 8 rolls out of it. Repeat the same process with the second half of the dough.

Once completed, you brush the tops of the rolls with more melted margarine and sprinkle with cinnamon sugar. Place them in the oven for 15 – 20 minutes.

While the rolls are baking, create the topping.  Combine the soy milk, powdered sugar 1 cup at a time, 4 tbsp of melted margarine, and vanilla in a small mixing bowl. Beat with a whisk. Keep on adding the powdered sugar one cup at a time, You will not believe how much sugar 1/2 cup of soy milk will consume. You want this mixture to be like sludge. Really thick. When in doubt, keep on adding.

Pull the rolls out of the oven. You want the tops of the rolls to be golden brown. Pour the sludgy white stuff all over the rolls. It will melt and then harden. Let the rolls cool for at least 5 – 10 minutes. After that, dig in with a cup of stiff french roast coffee. There is no way you will be able to eat just one.

There is nothing better on a cold Fall night than a big bowl of soup that serves as a meal (there are probably some things that are better, but…). This soup is vegan, healthy, hearty, and takes 30 minutes to make. There are lots of shortcuts to soup that don’t require sitting in a crock pot, subject to every passerby lickin’ and lappin’ a “just a taste”. Especially with the SWINE running around. I could have named this “Simple Healthy Swine Fall Soup” if it took 8 hours to make and you have 8 kids.

Ingredients:

• 1 medium onion diced
• 2 carrots diced (like whole carrots, not those cheating “bites”)
• 2 celery stalks diced
• big handful of sliced mushrooms
• 1 large potato diced
• 1/4 cup instant brown rice
• 8 cups water
• 6 tsp of “Better than Bouillon” vegetable stock (this matters)
• 1 cup plain soy milk
• 2 tbsp cornstarch
• 4 tbsp cooking oil
• 1/2 tsp fresh chopped rosemary
• 2 tbsp fresh chopped parsley

Heat the cooking oil in a large soup pot (like really hot). Throw in all the veggies (they should sizzle), reduce heat to medium, and stir for 5 minutes. Add the water and vegetable base. Bring to a boil and then simmer for 10 minutes. Throw in the brown rice, soy milk, parsley, and rosemary. Cook another 5 minutes. Remove about two cups of the broth and transfer it to a small pot. Get it boiling hot. Mix the cornstarch with just enough water to make it look like milk. Stirring with a whisk, pour the gradually cornstarch into the small pot. The liquid will almost turn to putty. This is good. As soon as it gets to a putty state, remove from the heat. In the larger pot, stir the soup and add the putty. Stir and stir and stir until the putty has dissolved and the soup is thicker.

Taste the soup. You want the soup to taste 75% of the flavor you want to eat it at. If it is not salty enough, add more bouillon 1 tsp at a time and make sure it is stirred (to be at 75% the edible flavor). The soup will need to cool to room temperature before you store it in the fridge. There will be some evaporation and further mixing (or “getting aquatinted” as my late mother-in-law used to say). If you salt it to taste immediately, it will taste like the Dead Sea the following day. If you plan to eat a portion of the soup immediately for a meal, then salt each portion to taste.

If you did everything right, you should have a chunky and somewhat earthy soup that compliments the smell of the autumn leaves around you…minus the SWINE.